A Fan Letter: Publication Delays

Dear DFG:

I am a long-time fan of DFG, but am very dissapointed by all the recent delays in you titles. Captain Nepto Prime July and August have still not been completed, Spy Comics Presents #5 was announced for a December release and has not appeared, and the Retro-Spy Christmas Special has now been put off until next Christmas! What gives!?!? We dedicated fans want to read DFG Comics, but you folks can't seem to get them out on time. We want our comic books and yet DFG is consistently tardy in releasing them on time. What explanation can you offer?

Sincerely,
Johnny Seamore
Vancouver, B.C.

Dear Johnny "Complainalot":

Listen punk, have you ever tried to put out a line of comic books while working with some of the biggest pig-headed creators in the industry? I can make up all the nice flow-charts and printing schedules that I want, but when prima dona creators like Todd Abbot, and yes, even our two esteemed publishers, Graves and Andrews, cannot even hand in their artwork on time, what do you expect me to do? Do you want me to run blank pages off the printing presses and tell you that the Spymaster and Capt. Nepto are caught in a snow storm? What do you take me for, some kind of shyster? I'm going to be square with you kid, working in this industry is no picnic. We have four titles (no, count that five, ever since our fearless leader introduced that stupid Spy Comics: Villains title) that I am trying to keep on schedule. Artists don't work on schedules, kid. They just hand in their work when ever than damned well feel like it. When I get it, I print it. And now, with our dear Flora gone, I'm doing all the friggin' colouring, too! I'm only one man, kid, so let up a little, okay? You'll get your comic books when I print them. And remember, their only comic books. Why don't you get a girlfriend or something?

Sincerely,
Frank Daniels,
DFG Production Manager (and Answer Man).

A Fan Letter: "Spy Comics: Villians" Series

Dear DFG:

I was intrigued by your Villain of the Month profile in which it said that your new villain Spychiatrist will be featured in an all-new DFG series Spy Comics: Villains. What can you tell me about this new series?

Javier Santamotzarello,
(Noted DFG Comics enthusiast)
Mexico City, Mexico

Dear Javier:

The problem with you fans is that you can't just take a "teaser" and be teased, you always have to know more and more. If our publisher, Dan Graves, gives you a teaser you should just bloody well be pleased to get what information that he gives out and not come whining to me for more details. What more do you want to know? There's a new series starting this Spring called Spy Comics: Villains. You know that because our boss-man told you. It stars Spychiatrist, a creation of one of our fans, Louise Expatcanuck, who I might add, is not near as annoying as you are with all your inane questions every fifteen minutes... at least she sends in useful ideas that we can use with minimal remuneration. Spychiatrist is the therapist to the heroes, or so they think, until he starts selling their secrets to the underworld. There. Happy now? What, no? You want me to give away the whole story? Why don't I just tell you the whole thing and then you wouldn't have to buy the friggin' book.

Did I mention that it will feature guest appearances by the Grim Avenger, the Flea, the all-new Spymaster, and Cyclone? No? Well now I did, and you'd better still buy the book punk.

Affectionately,

Frank Daniels
DFG Production Manager (and Answer Man).